If there is a value in the asking & answering, then we should continue to reflect upon it. If there is something revealed that is beyond our control … well, that is why I’m asking for this discussion.

I have over twenty successful years in the Information Technology profession. Starting as a technician (programmer & operator), moving into analysis (consultant & administrator) and reaching management levels, my career seems normal and productive. I’ve had fun, done well, and learned much.

I see articles that say that “even though there is an employment problem”, there are “job opportunities going unfilled” because there are not “enough trained & experienced applicants”. Have you seen such stories? They often seem related to advertisements for schools and degrees (often with beautiful people leaning against trees); however, not all the articles are attempting to sell me something. What are they doing?

In these articles, the authors sometimes list professions & industries that are hurting for good applicants. One of them is Information Technology – mine. Yet, when I apply for such a position, the response is NOT a call requesting further information (most often, it is silence … no response).

I’m left with three possibilities:
a) I don’t have good relevant experience;
b) the firm isn’t searching in order to fill the position;
c) I’m a jerk … liar … or such.

Let me assure you … it can’t be a)! Sure, I might not have the exact match – but I submit to you that is a part of the b) possibility. For example, I have learned & used many programming languages and have been able to move among them depending on the best fit for system and application needs. Even if I haven’t used the particular language in the specified years, I would “be up to speed” in a short time. (If that sounds arrogant, let’s please talk.)

I want to assume … it isn’t c)! It does feel like I am supposed to wonder if I’m inept or failing (and I’m even overly optimistic – a male trait, I suggest).

So, what’s left?
What do you see?

Thanks.

Now, some opinions:
* this IS networking … with professionals … in a normal, and challenging, environment;

What would you add?

Then I remember, The Thing I Was Going to Try Always To Remember.

That thing is: My Despair is not me. It’s not my fault and its just a state of brain chemistry.

This does not make it not-real, or trivial, but I don’t have to own it and believe it is my ineffable self.

Once I remember this, it easier to handle. OK, I can just have this despair, and I don’t have to take it seriously. I can just let it be. I don’t have to “flow with it,” I can, more profitably, just accept that it is there and ignore it.

Once I know that my despair is not me, I’m on the road to getting out of it. Once I know that it is not me, it is not my identity, then the lack of intentionality that is a key component of despair can be set aside, and I can intend to do something.

Once I manage to intend to do something, I can actually do something, and once I am actually doing something, my despair begins to dissipate like the morning fog, which, on some days, disappears by mid-morning as the sun shines, above the fog a little bit, and warms the air.

Remembering The Thing I Was Going to Try Always To Remember is like the rising of that morning sun. It is the first step on dissipating the fog of despair.

I can barely stand to open it. Sometimes I don’t for a day or two. Rejection can be unbearable. How can they not realize how great I am, what a prize employee I will be, how I will not only do good work but advance the organization? How?

We all have to deal with rejection. One’s love life usually contains plenty of rejection. Sometimes one’s social life can contain a good quantity of rejection.

Rejection doesn’t have to merited to hurt. If I am rejected because I am too tall or too short, something I cannot help, it hurts just as much as anything else.

How to deal with rejection? As with despair, it begins with remembering The Thing I Was Going to Remember Not to Forget. And that is: each particular rejection is another step towards acceptance.

I first learned this as a freshman in college. I looked around the hangout, and there were many women I found attractive. I said to my friend that I’d like to be successful with at least one of the women, but I was afraid of rejection.

That’s the wrong attitude, he told me. If I ask enough of them, eventually one is going to say yes. Each time I am rejected, it just brings me much closer to yes.

Think of it as a magic number. There is a magic number of rejections out there, right after which I will be accepted. The only hard part is not knowing the number. But that doesn’t matter. I still have to collect my magic number of rejections. Right after I reach that number, I will be successful.

Here are the times & events that I call “job interruptions”:
1. 1970 – Left college, from a job I’d had 5 years, part-time during school & full-time in 2 summers.
2. 1974 – Non-profit corporation I’d staffed & directed shut-down as objects of our efforts ended … we won!
3. 1978 – Recruited & decided to return to college as I sought an MA in my academic (non-professional) field.
4. 1980 – Left college, from a job I’d had 2 years, part-time during school & full-time for 2 summers.
5. 1983 – As incorporated entrepreneur, a major client was sued by SEC for doing bad business … we lost!
6. 1984 – As incorporated entrepreneur, a major client was purchased by another firm and our contract ended.
7. 1986 – As full-time technical/sales employee, my employer was sued by SEC for doing bad business – I got to 3rd RIF before being terminated.
8. 1987 – As contractor to an entrepreneurial start-up, my contract was not renewed upon successful completion.
9. 1990 – As full-time technical/sales employee, my firm was purchased by EDS. I was successful for 1 year as cultures & products clashed, I quit when required to move to Plano, TX.
10. 2002 – As full-time technical/management employee, I was terminated when 9/11/01 impacted staff & projects.
11. 2008 – As full-time technical/management employee, I was terminated when recession impacted staff & projects.

So, I count 11.
What do you think – am I “playing the victim”?
It works out to an average of one per 3.5 years – just about the average of the “new economy employment”.
I showed my wife – she said “hmmmm”.
I think having this list and thinking about it will help in my next interview.

Does everyone know what we’re talking about? Probably! About 25% of US workers are collecting unemployment, looking for work, or have aborted their job search, often accepting part-time positions with no benefits to get income. In 2007 – before the recession, a quarter of full-time workers ages 51 to 55 went through layoffs or lost jobs because an employer went out of business. The US economy is designed to maintain a 5% unemployment rate (we worry now because it is double that) – a million capable committed workers who are NOT being productive is normal – our community is wasting valuable lives.

Let’s read Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath” together. This kind of economic chaos causes “a hunger in a stomach, multiplied a million times; a hunger in a single soul, hunger for joy and some security, multiplied a million times; muscles and mind aching to grow, to work, to create, multiplied a million times.” I lost my job – my plant closed – “I am alone and I am bewildered.” But in clubs and churches, two workers talk and their families listen. “Here is the node, you who hate change and fear revolution. Keep those two apart; make them hate, fear, suspect each other. For here ‘I lost my job’ is changed; a cell is split and grows the thing you hate – ‘We lost our job’. The danger is here, for two are not as lonely and perplexed as one. And from this first “we” there grows a still more dangerous thing: ‘I have a little food’ plus ‘I have none’ becomes ‘We have a little food’. This is the beginning – from ‘I’ to ‘we’. If you who own the things people must have could understand this, we might preserve ourselves. If you could separate causes from results …”

Whether you have a job or don’t, whether you own the company or get a pension, whether you are the family of the worker or the owner … we need each other. We need to combine our resources to survive; we must share our perspectives to make understanding; we must overcome isolation to build networks … this is what we do in the churches, in our beloved community and in our job club.

Please join us the first Thursday November 5 in Courtyard E from 7 to 8:30pm. On the third Thursday, we meet from 5:45 to 7:30 at a fun and convenient location.
Talk with Jeanne Sears (FUS, 233-9774 ext.116) or contact Bob Radford 845-3523 bob@jobrecovery.org for information or to volunteer. We can get and give help together in surprising ways.

What to do when tough times hit? A guide to staying afloat during setbacks

By Frances Lefkowitz

Body+Soul magazine

updated 3:35 p.m. CT, Thurs., Oct . 8, 2009

Mythologist Michael Meade likes to tell the one about the woman in the cave weaving the world into existence. Each time she gets up to stir the stew she’s got cooking on the fire, her dog pounces on the weaving, unraveling it. When the woman returns to her loom, “she stands meditatively above the chaotic mess and despairs,” says Meade, author of “The World Behind the World.” “Then she picks up an end and starts weaving again, this time to create an even more beautiful design.”

It’s a story that speaks of creating and undoing, of hope that comes from despair, of picking up the pieces and carrying on — and it couldn’t be more relevant in our world right now. “We’re living through one of those times when things seem to be dark and unraveling. But from a mythic point of view, we’re in a time of re-creation,” says Meade. “All creation emerges from darkness. The great myths are about getting lost in darkness and then finding the surprising way out.”

For those personally affected by the recent economic upheaval, this prospect of reinvention is often the only thing keeping despair from taking over. But even in flush times, when foreclosures, massive layoffs, and bankruptcies aren’t constantly dominating the news, it’s a pertinent message. Why? Along with its joys and pleasures, life is famously rife with disappointment — and not to mine our low points for insight only holds us back. “If you make meaning out of your suffering,” affirms life coach MJ Ryan, author of “AdaptAbility.” “You can turn surviving into thriving.”

The key to spinning gold from straw? Adaptability, not alchemy. Brilliant adaptors have an innate ability to shake off adversity with a “that was that, now what?” attitude, according to Ryan. With unasked-for change, “there’s always a death involved—the death of a dream, a belief, or an idea of how we thought it was going to be,” she says. Successfully adapting to adversity means moving, when the time is right, from mourning and regretting to focusing on the options and opportunities opening up before us.

Among those opportunities is the discovery of our own resilience. “Trouble makes people go deeper into themselves and find hidden resources,” says Meade. Recent studies on “post-traumatic growth” suggest that the rewards of meeting challenges include an improved sense of personal strength, an increased appreciation for life, a sense of new possibilities, and improved relationships. “I haven’t met one person in my entire life who hasn’t gone through a hard time without gaining something — courage, tenacity, patience, independence — that they simply wouldn’t have gotten any other way,” says Ryan.

Hard times also offer a priceless reminder of the most fundamental truth about happiness: It comes from inside, rather than out. “Our lasting happiness can and needs to be inde­pendent of our circumstances,” says inspirational speaker Marci Shimoff, author of “Happy for No Reason.” It’s not some spike of emotions or a tem­porary kind of pleasure that comes when everything is finally perfect and we have all we’ve ever wanted. “It’s an inner state of peace and well-being that you carry with you wherever you go.” Sometimes, it takes a setback to realize this distinction, and to start developing happiness as a skill and an attitude, rather than a goal.

Change is good, the saying goes. But as for the change that knocks us down and beats us up, it’s possible to find some good even there—though it may take some time, dedication, and creativity. “The soul awakens as things seem to fall apart,” says Meade. In other words, we don’t ask for crisis, but we can take advantage of it when it arises, and find the surprising way out of the dark.

7 ways to rebound from a setback

Worry well

Facing fear and anxiety head-on is the first step in handling a setback. Try to distinguish productive worries (which spark action) from destructive ones (which trigger catastrophic thinking.) Challenge negative worries with knowledge and perspective (write your arguments in a journal) and this will allow you to realize that you’ll get through whatever comes your way.

When bad news hits, our first response is to tighten up. Learning to stay expanded rather that contracted, in mind and body, allows us to better accept what’s unfolding and transform paralysis into productive action. First, focus on the body. Change your posture to make it more open or take a wide stance with your arms stretched out from your sides, so you’re as large and open as possible, and stay there for five deep breaths. The open position of your body can make you feel expanded inside, lifting your mood.

Next, expand your thinking to see all the options. List a few different responses to your misfortune, cross out the unacceptable ones, and focus on the positive, feasible ones. And remember to count your blessings. They will open your mind to abundance rather than scarcity and bring you happiness.

Look for the lesson

Find something meaningful or useful in a bad situation that you likely wouldn’t have realized any other way. Ask yourself, “What did I learn?” and “How am I stronger now?”

Develop resilience

Dwelling endlessly in resentment creates emotional turmoil, and lab studies show that anger triggers our fight-or-flight response, which can reduce our brain’s ability to think clearly and creatively so we can find solutions. The best way to break that cycle is through meditation. Dropping thoughts for a brief period of time provides the mental rest we need. Meditating can be as easy as closing your eyes for five minutes and focusing on the tip of your nose as you slowly inhale and exhale, or eating a piece of fruit as slowly as you can and savoring the sensation, smell, and texture.

Take advantage of downtime

When downtime unexpectedly comes along (from a job loss or the ending of a relationship for example), use it to do those things you’ve been meaning to do for years. Write that novel, learn to knit, paint your bedroom, or visit tourist attractions in your area you’ve never seen.

Tap your resources

While meditation and action develop your inner resources, friends are your “outer resources.” A strong network of friends acts as a crucial stress buster, helping us to process our emotions, get perspective, and have fun. So ignore the urge to spend too much time alone and let your friends know what they can do to help.

Help someone else

Sometimes it’s supporting others that can best pull you out of despair. Use a crisis to redefine your priorities and redefine your life. Putting your energy into action to help others can open a whole new door of opportunities and joy, bringing new meaning to your life.

Until we can find a better method to distribute this information via our website I will posted it on my business website.

Over the years I have written and assembled this information.

The purpose for posting this information is to assist you in preparation for Job Interviews.

Interview Preparation:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/interviewpreparation.html

Behavioral Interview Preparation:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/behavioralinterview.html

Candidate’s Questions:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/candidatesquestions.html

Interviewer’s Questions:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/interviewsquestions.html

Trick Questions:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/trickquestions.html

295 Candidate Questions:

http://www.productivityexcellence.com/careeropportunities/295questions.html

Hope you find this information helpful

Bryan R. Alexander

Must apologize as I had put the newspapers in the recycling and off they went in the truck yesterday.

I cannot locate the Website URL’s

Read an article in the USA Today on October 2, 2009 in the Money/Business section that discussed that unemployment rates among single people is double (17%) that of married people.  Furthermore, it indicated that single people are being laid off at a rate double that of married people.

In 1982 I recall being laid off a few year after was divorced (single).  I also recall that my manager “ASS” told me that married people needed their jobs because they have children.  Because I was single I was the only that I had to take care of and that I would be okay.   I told this “ASS” that I had a mortgage, car payments, expenses and “CHILD SUPPORT” to pay what do mean I do not have anyone to take of other than myself?

The article went on to say what I told this “ASS” in 1982 that an unemployed single person loses every source of income except for unemployment insurance and when is gone there is nothing.  By comparison married couples if both spouses have jobs and one of the spouses loses their jobs most of the time they can tighten their expenses and weather the storm; whereas, as single person my find themselves bankrupt and homeless.

In the Milwaukee newspaper business section on October 2, 2009 I read an article stating that following this recession that full employment will not be achieved until 2017.

On a positive note…

Saw a television show in that the Mayans calendar indicates that the world as we know it will be destroyed in December 2012.  That is 5 years before full unemployment recovery in 2017.

As I see it this December 2012 event will bring down property values making house cheaper easier to purchase and those of us lucky enough to survive mass destruction of the Earth should be able to find work in construction, farming, medicine helping wounded, repairing damaged technology and land reclamation.

Then I saw a television said that Sir Isaac Newton calculated the world would end in 2060 – Most of us cannot wait that long for remployment.

Bryan R. Alexander